There’s a red spot on my new white tissue shirt
Could be seedless watermelon juice or
Hi-C punch…
Yes…the damn Hi-C punch
From the country gas station
Fifteen minutes from the broken cash register
Three minutes from my house
Stupid Marty can’t use a calculator
Lunch break means dark soda time
Turned into spewing red liquid on my hand
There’s a red spot on my new white tissue shirt
Punch the calculator
All problems solved.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Heart-wrenching Atonement
My husband and I finally watched, “Atonement,” last night. I bought it a month ago, but have been leery to watch it because I knew it would stay with me for a while. And of course, it has. It was heart-wrenching, but in that ironically painful way that leaves you wanting more. Like…exercise. It hurts a lot…the day after we wonder why we did it…and then we go back for more. When the movie was over, I felt unfulfilled…wanting to know more. Some of the ends were left dangling, but that’s the point. That is the story. It is a story that touches something in people.
At one time or another, most people experience the confusion of love, the late recognition of feelings, the different faces jealously wears, how it feels to bury wounds, wonder “what if”, the afterglow of passionate moments, or bear the brunt of a lie that inevitably changes the course of one’s life…The relatable, unjust sadness that occurs because of the actions of others. Briony’s lie was never forgiven, not even by herself – a thread left untied. Robbie and Cecilia were never married, left only to share few, passionate moments…stripped of what their lives could have been – more threads left untied. Images of confusion and death brought on by the horrors of war…glimpses of lives torn apart by people’s lies, selfishness and greed – threads still left untied. Relationships forged out of anger and violent acts – threads untied. All of these threads create these fleeting, uncomfortable images in my mind without closure.
Then there is the clicking of the typewriter, which reminded me of a clock ticking through time and of a story that is never finished. The bee in the window Briony sees right before watching Cecilia and Robbie at the fountain. A slow buzz stuck in the window – the bee is unable to get out but can see the other side of the glass. The buzz is silent while Briony watches and then becomes agitated and faster when the fountain moment is over and Briony is left looking out at something on the other side she doesn’t understand…not meant for her. Cecilia’s emerald green dress reminded me of jealously. Just like all of the different shades of green in the movie, “Great Expectations”…a similar story of about passion, greed and the unjustness life brings. Situational testimony. People dealt circumstances out of their control, but that could be manipulated. It’s just so…HEART WRENCHING! Is it such a good thing to recognize such heartbreaking and poignant sadness because it’s relatable or romantic? Is the humanity of it what draws me in? Is it worse to want more of it? These are not the same feelings that guide me towards reading about the atrocities in the daily news or my need to grasp understanding the brutality and greed within mankind. It’s…I don’t know…ridiculous torture! I think I am going to watch it again.
At one time or another, most people experience the confusion of love, the late recognition of feelings, the different faces jealously wears, how it feels to bury wounds, wonder “what if”, the afterglow of passionate moments, or bear the brunt of a lie that inevitably changes the course of one’s life…The relatable, unjust sadness that occurs because of the actions of others. Briony’s lie was never forgiven, not even by herself – a thread left untied. Robbie and Cecilia were never married, left only to share few, passionate moments…stripped of what their lives could have been – more threads left untied. Images of confusion and death brought on by the horrors of war…glimpses of lives torn apart by people’s lies, selfishness and greed – threads still left untied. Relationships forged out of anger and violent acts – threads untied. All of these threads create these fleeting, uncomfortable images in my mind without closure.
Then there is the clicking of the typewriter, which reminded me of a clock ticking through time and of a story that is never finished. The bee in the window Briony sees right before watching Cecilia and Robbie at the fountain. A slow buzz stuck in the window – the bee is unable to get out but can see the other side of the glass. The buzz is silent while Briony watches and then becomes agitated and faster when the fountain moment is over and Briony is left looking out at something on the other side she doesn’t understand…not meant for her. Cecilia’s emerald green dress reminded me of jealously. Just like all of the different shades of green in the movie, “Great Expectations”…a similar story of about passion, greed and the unjustness life brings. Situational testimony. People dealt circumstances out of their control, but that could be manipulated. It’s just so…HEART WRENCHING! Is it such a good thing to recognize such heartbreaking and poignant sadness because it’s relatable or romantic? Is the humanity of it what draws me in? Is it worse to want more of it? These are not the same feelings that guide me towards reading about the atrocities in the daily news or my need to grasp understanding the brutality and greed within mankind. It’s…I don’t know…ridiculous torture! I think I am going to watch it again.
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