So, you know, I have to look nicer than usual because I have to teach tonight. Therefore, I had to wear a real bra today instead of my oh so comfortable sports bra. This morning, I felt like something was chewing the top of my right shoulder off. Now, mind you, I am wearing a button up, collared shirt with a sweater pulled over the top of it. The sleeves of the sweater are short and the sleeves of the shirt underneath it, are long. Oh..and there is a collar on my shirt, too. And…I have a necklace on. I realized my bra strap was the culprit for what felt like flesh being knocked off, so I made a mental note, “CHANGE YOUR BRA AT LUNCH!” All morning I’ve been twisting the bra strap, repositioning the stupid back and cussing out Target for allowing such a stupid designer hook up to their, what I consider, a pretty decent bra line.
ANYWAY! Andy (being the white knight that he is) calls to ask if he can pick me up for lunch because it’s so snowy out. “OF Course!” I reply. Minutes later, he pops in, I throw on my coat and we leave for lunch. An hour later, he brings me back. As I jumped out of his truck with mail, papers, a blanket and hand warmers, I realized, “I forgot to change my stupid flesh eating bra!” After dropping my load on my desk, I stuck some Kleenex under the strap, threw my blanket over my knees, stuck the hand warmers in my shoes (my tooties are frozen) and settled in to work. Then, I thought, “WAIT! Andy (being the white knight he is) bought me two new bras this weekend and they are still in my car!” Without hesitating, I burst outside, opened the car door, cussed as the snow covering my car fell inside and into the bra bag, and flung myself back inside – hair over my face. But! That was ok. I still had the hand warmers (left one semi-stuck to the bottom of my foot) and I was going to change my BRA!
I got in the bathroom, ripped off the tags of one of the “Microfiber” lies of a comfortable bra, and started taking my top(s) off. Necklance on the floor, sweater hanging around my neck, shirt on the sink…I get the carnivorous bra off and the new one on. No sooner had I gotten the left bra strap on, my back felt like had been scrapped by a 50 mile an hour windshield wiper. HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…I thought as I ripped it off. OK! How about number 2 new bra! It worked. I got it on and there was no blood.
As I stood in front of the mirror with hair static, glasses sideways and my sweater still around my neck, I looked up and thought, “Yea. Real funny.” Because the PIG POOP Incident JUUUUUUUUUUST wasn’t funny enough.
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In honor of my husband the Navy Man
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'Whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop...
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop...
Teachers and Educators
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.There are teachers .... and then there are educators.
He Would Not Stay for Me, and Who Can Wonder?
He would not stay for me, and who can wonder?
He would not stay for me to stand and gaze.
I shook his hand, and tore my heart in sunder,
And went with half my life about my ways.
A.E. Housman
He would not stay for me to stand and gaze.
I shook his hand, and tore my heart in sunder,
And went with half my life about my ways.
A.E. Housman
Small Moments
From John F. Kennedy
We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution. Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans—born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage—and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this Nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world.
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